Looking for some funny Instagram captions to use? You have come to the perfect place. We list a huge selection of the funniest captions for Instagram and photos to use.
You can use all captions for free. Simply copy-and-paste the cool quote you like most, and go for it! Enjoy!
Here is more sayings:
- positive quotes to empower
- sassy Instagram captions
- funny quotes about friends
- hilarious funny quotes about love
- Epic Instagram Bio Quotes
Funny Captions for Instagram
Ready to explore? We organized all the greatest captions for your Instagram shots. All you need to do? Choose your topic and your favorite quote â and copy and paste it under your Insta-photo update! Here are the funny Instagram captions for you.
Couple
Looking for funny Instagram captions for that perfect photo moment with your beau? Itâs always a fun moment when you spend it with your other half but there are times that are just over-the-top funny and we have photos to prove it. Upload it to your social media and share to your friends your loveâs funny moment. No harm in sharing a good laugh!
- Do you know whatâd look good on you? Me .
- You marry so that you can know each other and the process lasts for infinity.
- With great girlfriend comes great expenses.
- Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, sheâs not coming back.
- Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married..
- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- Newtonâs law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
- I donât want to be in a relationship, also I would rather be in a Range Rover.
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
- Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, youâre in.
- I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate ⊠but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
- I m a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
- âI miss you like an idiot misses the point.â
- If you canât remember my name, just say âchocolateâ ⊠Iâll turn around.
- Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
- A friend in need a friend to be avoided.
- Brains are an awesome tool. I wish everybody had one.
- Got a new phone today, my old phone failed the swimming test.
- Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude?
- Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
- I hate math, but I love counting money.
- Dear Lord. Please give me some patience now, now, now.
- Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, sheâs not coming back.
- Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you canât beat surfing the net.
- Do I run? Yes, Out of time, patients and money.
- Do you know whatâd look good on you? Me.
Cute
We canât help it, sometimes we just want to add spice in our lives and upload cute photos in our Instagram feed. But photos arenât everything, it needs an equally cute caption to work its magic. Read through some of the funny Instagram captions that you can use for your photos.
- Why is it that we tend to take relationships for granted? We unconsciously think it can take care of itself. But love neglected is the start of indifference.
- There is no such thing as a perfect person, but someoneâs heart can have the perfect intention.
- You donât have to jump high for people to like you, love you, want to be with you, and notice you. You just have to be yourself, and you will be accepted for who you are.
- Stop being a zombie. Find something that youâre excited about in your life; otherwise, youâre just walking dead.
- I put my best foot forward, then my worst foot after that, then my best foot again.
- Insecurities can make even the smartest and most beautiful person foolishly question themselves despite how amazing they truly are.
- Mental stimulation and an emotional connection between two people trump a physical and love connection any day. However, having all of the above is even more powerful and meaningful;
- Consider yourself blessed.
- Even the most beautiful people will have at least some insecurity, whether they admit it or not.
- People wonât always love you. They may love what you bring to the table and love what you may do for them, but that doesnât mean they love you. Learn the difference, my friends.
- Before spending time trying to find someone, you must first find yourself.
- Make sure to savor all your special moments, step outside of yourself, and bask in your own presence, while itâs still present.
- You and I are cupcakes of an everlasting honeymoon party.
Food
While love life is life, food is lifer and we mean that in the most literal sense. Eat, pray, love. Uh, no. Photo first, caption second, eat later. Stop scrolling and searching in Google. We have the funny Instagram captions on food right here!
- If weâre not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
- I eat cake because itâs somebodyâs birthday somewhere.
- Bikini season is right around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the pizza place.
Friends
Admit it, you love your friends and you go crazy when youâre with them. That means a lot of awesome and fun times worth capturing. Donât post something crappy, pick a photo that best describes your friendship, and pick the perfect Funny Instagram captions to go with your funny moments.
- Letâs just stay friends=never talk again.
- I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
- People are people but my fellows are really fellows.
- You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, âDo a flip!â
- I hope you dance like no oneâs watching because theyâre notâtheyâre taking selfies.
- People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
- Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
- I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
- Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean⊠But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
- I donât know whatâs tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
- Weâll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home.
- Every tall girl needs a short best friend.
- As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure is going to happen.
- Friends knock on the door, best friends walk into your house and start eating.
- A friend in need a friend to be avoided.
- I hope we are good friends until we die, then i hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
- Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
- When you fall I will be ready to catch you- with love, floor.
- Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- Please GOD if you canât make me slim, make my friends fat.
- Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
- You actually have friends? Ans: Yeah, bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
- The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.
- Iâm usually charming, nice, and well mannered, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now
- Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- You know youâre ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
- God is really creative, I mean just look at me and think.
- How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
- I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.
- I donât want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.
- I am not feeling lazy actually; I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
- I donât always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
- I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
- Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, youâre in.
- I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- I didnât choose the thug life, the thug life chose me
- I donât always study, but when I do, I donât.
- Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.
- I donât know whatâs tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
- Finding friends with same mental disorder is priceless.
- I donât think inside the box and I donât think outside the box. I donât even know where the box is.
- I followed a diet but it didnât follow me back, so I unflawed it.
- I had fun once, it was horrible.
- Not all the best moments are created with the one you love, some are created with true friends, a blissful beach, and some beer for sure!
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- I hope you dance like no oneâs watching because theyâre not â theyâre taking selfies.
- If being Hot is a Crime ARREST ME!
- If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes.
- If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
- If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
- Letâs just stay friends=never talk again.
- If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
- Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie, just one more minute. Yet. I wouldnât call them lies!
- If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. Iâll tell you more.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, Oh my friend you belong to a zoo.
- If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
- Itâs funny how people judge otherâs mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
From Movies
Referencing funny lines from the movies never grow old. Letâs take some of them and make it our funny Instagram captions for our photos.
- Go ahead, make my day.
- Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.
- Fasten your seatbelts, itâs going to be a bumpy night!
- You talkinâ to me?
- Show me the money!
- Houston, we have a problem.
- I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
- Round up the usual suspects.
- Iâm as mad as hell, and Iâm not going to take this anymore!
- Houston, we have a problem.
- Iâll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
- You had me at âhelloâ.
- Thereâs no crying in baseball!
- You canât handle the truth!
- Tell âem to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.
- Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!
- Iâm the king of the world!
- Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what youâre gonna get.
- Toto, Iâve got a feeling weâre not in Kansas anymore.
- Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- What weâve got here is failure to communicate.
Here are some of the most generic captions for every occasions.
- I put my phone in airplane mode, but itâs not flying!
- Forget love, Iâd rather fall in chocolate.
- Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
- Iâm actually not funny, I am just mean and people think Iâm funny!
- Iâm a smart person, I just do stupid things.
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software⊠itâs called Monday, please fix it.
- Dear Lord⊠please give me some patience NOWâŠNOWâŠNOWâŠ.
- I look at people sometimes and think âŠ.. Really?? Thatâs the sperm that won.
- How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
- The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
- Friday is my second favorite F word.
- Itâs funny how people judge otherâs mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
- BRB = I donât want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I donât care.
- I am not feeling lazy actually. Actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
- Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- You made me laugh so hard. Tears ran down my legs.
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
- Donât give up on your dreams. keep sleeping.
- How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
- I am not lazy, I am just on save energy mode.
- Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
- Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
- Normal is boring
- What do you call a bear with no ears? EARS!
- Best friends. Because anyone else heard our conversations weâd end up in the mental hospital.
- What does Charles Dickens keep in this spice rack? The best of Thymes, and the worst of Thymes.
- After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.
- The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.
- Nothing is lost until your mother canât find it.
- If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
- For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
- Last name Ever, first name Greatest.
- I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waste of time.
- Nobody is perfect. My name is Perfect!
- What do you call a thieving alligator? A Crocodile
- Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
- âFolks, I donât trust children. Theyâre here to replace us.â â Stephen Colbert
- The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe eat cake.
- Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, youâre probably drunk.
- That awkward moment when youâre wearing Nikeâs and you canât do it.
- Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.
- I made a huge list for today. I just canât figure out whoâs going to do it.
- Please God, if you canât make me thin, make my friends fat.
- I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
- Life doesnât have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
- An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
- Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
- During the day I didnât believe in ghosts. At night I become a bit more open-minded.
- At night I fall asleep. In the morning I canât get up.
- Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and sh*t on their heads.
- This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
- Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
- Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyâll start using it.
- Life is very complicated. Donât try to find answers because when you find the answers, life changes the questions.
- Donât let anyone rent a space in your head unless theyâre a good tenant.
- The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive. â Coco Chanel
- The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
- I hate when people see me at the supermarket and they are all like âHey, what are you doing here?â And Iâm just like, âOh, you know hunting elephants.â
- When my bra matches my underwear, I really feel like I have my life together.
- Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
- Did you know that DIET stands for: Did I Eat That?
- I hate it when Iâm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
- Well, well, well. Look what finally decided to show up. Hello Friday!
- I may look calm, but in my mind, I have killed you three times.
- Seeing a spider in my room isnât scary. Itâs scary when it disappears.
- That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.
- Fun quote for Instagram
- Donât worry, Beyonce.
- There is no angry way to say bubbles.
- Donât interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, youâll hear some crosswords.
- I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly
- How do I feel when there is no Coffee? DEPRESSO.
- Life happens. Coffee helps.
- Be a Warrior, not a Worrier.
- Iâm a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite remarkable.
- If you fall, I will be there. Signed: Floor.
- All we have is NOW.
- When you are Downie, eat a brownie.
- You are one in a melon.
- I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.
- Run like you stole something.
- I hate it when I gain10 lbs for a role and then I realize I am not even an actor.
- Dear life, when I said, âCan my day get any worse?â it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
- My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.
- There are two rules in life. 1. Never give out all the information. 2. â
- Stop worrying about the world ending today. Itâs already tomorrow in Australia.
- On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like Monday does on Earth.
- Life is like a toilet paper. Either youâre on a roll or youâre taking sh*t from asshole.
- You canât make everybody happy. You are not a jar of Nutella.
- I think my soul mate might be carbs.
- What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing âkâ instead of âokâ?
- Donât know where the kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and theyâll show up quickly.
- Funny how just when you think life canât get any worse, it suddenly does.
- Donât worry about getting older. You still get to do stupid things, only slower.
- You never know what you have until you clean your room.
- When nothing goes right, go left
- Me: Finally, Iâm happy. LIfe: Lol, wait a sec.
- Of curse, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
- When your ex texts you after months, âHey, whatâs up?â. Not today Satan, not today.
- All my life I thought the air was free. Until I bought a bag of chips.
- tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
- I donât think inside the box. I donât think outside the box either. I donât even know where the box is
- The word âstudyingâ was made up of two words originally âstudents dyingâ.
- This life is hard, but itâs harder if youâre stupid.
- Are you really living a life or just paying the bills until you die?
- I stopped fighting my inner demons. Weâre on the same side now.
- Donât study me, you wonât graduate.
- Iâm at the point of parenting where âWhat did I just say?â could either be a threat or a genuine question.
- Sometimes I have to tell myself itâs not worth the jail time.
- That annoying moment when you finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, you have to pee.
- Some people are like clouds. Hwne they disappear, itâs a beautiful day.
- If youâre waiting for me to give a sh*t, you better pack a lunch. Itâs going to be a while.
- My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot todo.
- There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work n Mondays.
- Fun friend quote for Instagram
- I just got that Friday feeling.
- When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance.
- I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
- Bad choices make good stories.
- If there would be an award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me!
- There is beauty in simplicity.
- If Cinderellaâs shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?
- I used to think I am indecisive. But now I am not sure!
- The more you weight, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake!
- A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids mistakes.
- I donât want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband!
- How do I feel without coffee? Depresso!
- I would kill for a Nobel Peace Price!
- Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But that gets boring really fast. So I go back to being normal!
- I donât need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new style of hair every morning!
- Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
- I am actually quite a nice person. Until you piss me off!
- There is no angry way to say âBubbles!
- I eat cake because it is somebodyâs birthday somewhere!
- Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it!
- I canât clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find!
- You could not handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!
- I am standing outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding!
- With great power comes great electricity bills!
- My teacher pointed to me with his ruler and said: âAt the end of this ruler there is an idiot!ââŠâI got detention after asking which end!
- People say nothing is impossible. But I do nothing every day!
- Wine is always the answer. What was the question again?
- What do you call an owl that does magic tricks? Hoodini
- In bed, itâs 6 AM. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, itâs 7:45. At work, itâs 1:30 PM. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, itâs 1:31.
- I think somethingâs missing in my life. Like 2-3 million dollars.
- Can we just skip to the part of my life where I travel the world?
- Itâs bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.
- I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.
- There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.
- You canât buy a business but you can buy a plane ticket and thatâs kind of the same thing.
- Overpack. Itâs why suitcases have wheels now.
- Age only matters if youâre a cheese.
- I like rumors. I find out so much about me that I didnât even know.
- Iâm old enough to know better. But young enough to do it anyway.
- That awkward moment when youâre wearing Nikeâs and you canât do it.
- Just dropped my new single! Itâs me. Iâm single.
- Be savage, not average.
- I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
- I know Iâm a handful but thatâs why you got two hands.
- Every 60 seconds, thereâs a b-tch posting a positive message that she doesnât live by.
- Never let anyone treat you like a yellow Starbust. You are a pink starburst.
- The most important thing is to enjoy your life â to be happy â thatâs all that matters.
- Take every chance you get in life, because some things only happen once.
- I myself never feel that Iâm sexy. If people call me cute, I am happier.
- Women drivers rev my engine.
- I like foodies.
- At least this balloon is attracted to me!
- I must destroy you with hugs and kisses.
- Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
- I woke up like this.
- If we could only turn back timeâŠ
- Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and thereâs so much to smile about.
- Beauty is power, a smile is its sword.
- This picture is my autobiography.
- Last day of class!
- Donât take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive.
- Chilling like a gangsterâŠ
- It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.
- Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
- I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. âTis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.
- It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
- Love can be unselfish, in the sense of being benevolent and generous, without being selfless.
- When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance.
- You think this is a game?
- Weekend, please donât leave me.
- Donât let anyone tell you that youâre not strong enough.
- Be who and what you want, period.
- Stay strong, the weekend is coming!
- You play Call of Duty? Thatâs cute.
- Youâre doing it wrong.
- Donât be like the rest of them, darling.
- I wasnât lucky, I deserved it.
- Whatever you do in life, make sure it makes you happy.
- The question isnât can you, itâs will you?
- What do you think of the view?
- I liked memes before they were on Instagram.
- That moment when you realize your childhood is over.
- Friday, my second favorite F word.
- Iâll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT!
- I think youâve got a deficiency of Vitamin Me!
- When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting âlikeâ at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.
- Say âBeer Canâ with a British accent. I just taught you to say âBaconâ with a Jamaican accent.
- I donât always study, but when I do, I donât.
- So youâre telling me I have a chanceâŠ
- Walking past a class with your friends in it.
- Iâm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!
- Yea, dating is cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?
- Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurtâŠ
- So, youâre on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people donât realize that.
- Oh youâre a model? Whatâs your agency, Instagram?
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- I didnât choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
- Weekend, please donât leave me!
- Need an ark? I Noah guyâŠ
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
- If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
- I donât always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
- A blind man walks into a bar⊠And a chair⊠and a tableâŠ
- I had fun once, it was horrible!
- Youâd have a big ego too, if you were as great as I am.
- Cheeseburger and Fries: We donât go out on dates.
- (Swimsuit photo)
- I donât know how their arteries arenât clogged with metal, because both of these girls have HEARTS OF GOLD.
- Can I get an âAMENâ?
- Itâs not about who would let me, itâs about who will stop me?
- Great friends happen because youâre a great friend too.
- Donât let anyone tell you that you wear too much black.
- The only thing I throwback on a Thursday is a scotch.
- Itâs been one blur of fun.
- Itâs Coffee OâClock!
- And so the adventure beginsâŠ
- Treat yourself as a Queen, and youâll attract a King.
- Every beauty needs her beast.
- Last name Ever, first name Greatest.
- Feeling good, living better.
- Last night was a blur.
- Show anyone and Iâll kill you.
- Putting the âweâ in weird.
- Good girl, bad habits.
- 75% of my humor starts with a bad photograph.
- Good shoes take you good places.
- I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
- You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, âDo a flip!â
- Daydream believerâŠ
- Well played.
- Say âYesâ to new adventures.
- My diet plan: make all of my best friends cookies; the fatter they get, the thinner I look.
- Bad choices make good stories.
- Even I donât believe myself when I say Iâll be ready in five minutes.
- Fri-nally! (on Friday).
- Kinda classy, kinda hood.
- A human being without a friend is like a tree in a desert.
- Your loss, babe.
- It may hurt you to look back in past or scare you to think what the future has in store for you, but those things might not happen if you have a best friend in the present with you.
- Letâs just be who we really are.
- Life is short to wear cute shoes.
- When you donât believe in yourself, your best friend believes in you.
- Do what makes your soul shine.
- Depending on the story behind the photo.
- Life is way to short for bad vibes.
- Sometimes you just donât need a doctor, sometimes your best friend is the therapy.
- When nature is your home, you donât visit it.
- Little by little.
- Long caption from my close friends and short of others
- If you listen carefully then the earth has a lot of music for you in store.
- You can only find yourself once you get lost in nature.
- To love and to be loved by the same person is the best feeling in the world.
- You make my heart smile.
- A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second, and stops the third.
- When your happiness is less important than the other personâs happiness, my friend you are in love.
- Namastay in bed.
- Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile.
- Keep a smile on your face and let your personality be your autograph.
- Life is better when youâre smiling.
- I hope you always find a reason to smile.
- Smile. Why? Because you can.
- Who says I never smile in my selfie?
- Keep a smile on your face and let your personality be your autograph.
- Stay strong, make them wonder how youâre still smiling.
- By the way, Iâm wearing the smile you gave me.
- If you smile when no one is around, you really mean it.
- A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Keep the Smile On!
- When you have to work, work with a smile.
- Smile, it confuses people.
- Keep smiling and brighten someoneâs day.
- Be someone elseâs sunshine. Be the reason someone smiles today.
- When you canât find the sunshine, be the sunshine.
- The happiest people donât have the best of everything, they make the best of everything.
- Be happy. It drives people crazy.
- Say yes to new adventures.
- Every day may not be good but thereâs good in every day.
- Dream big, little one!
- Cute as a button, but not quite as smart.
- 7 billion smiles, and yours is my favorite.
- You do the most adorable things without realizing.
- Donât grow up⊠Itâs a trap!
- Handle every situation like a dog. If you canât eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.
- Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how.
- Iâm not lazy. Iâm on energy-saving mode.
- I was going to take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.
- I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.
- Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.
- The idea is to die young . . . as late as possible.
- Do more things that make you forget to check your phone.
- You are what you do, not what you say youâll do.
- I literally have to remind myself all the time that being afraid of things going wrong isnât the way to make things go right.
- You and I are more than friends. Weâre like a really small gang.
- Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
- F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Fight for you. Respect you. Include you. Encourage you. Need you. Deserve you. Stand by you.
- Some people arrive and make such a beautiful impact on your life, you can barely remember what life was like without them.
- Friendship isnât a big thing. Itâs a million little things.
- Iâll stop wearing black when they make a darker color. â Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) by Fall Out Boy
- This may be the night that my dreams might let me know⊠All the stars are closer. â All the Stars by Kendrick Lamar & SZA
- Feeling like a boss, and staring at the stars, it doesnât matter the cost, âcause everybody wants to be famous. â Everybody Wants to Be Famous by Superorganism
- Shine on, diamond, donât make me wait another day. â My My My! by Troye Sivan
- No point in holding onto whatâs broken, so letâs live in the moment. When one door closes, another one opens. Stop trying to control it and start living in the moment. â Live in the Moment by Craig David
- Birthdays are natureâs way of telling us to eat cake.
- Birthday: A day to celebrate that you havenât died in the last year.
- I donât look a day over fabulous!
- The older you get, the better you get. Unless youâre a banana.
- Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
- Aspire to inspire before you expire.
- Darling, you are a work of art.
- Choose kindness and laugh often.
- Clear your mind of canât.
- Every moment matters.
- Iâm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
- Cupcakes are muffins that believe in miracles.
- Did you say exercise? Or extra fries?
- Iâm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
- My head says gym but my heart says tacos.
- Forget the butterflies, I feel the whole zoo when Iâm with you.
- Fall in love with somebody who will never let you go to sleep wondering if you still matter.
- Sheâs the exclamation mark in the happiest sentence that I could ever possibly write.
- Sometimes, someone comes into your life so unexpectedly, takes your heart by surprise, and changes your life forever.
- I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together. â A.R. Asher
- My prince is not coming on a white horse⊠heâs obviously riding a turtle somewhere, really confused.
- I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
- How I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso.
- Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, âWhat! You Too? I thought I was the only one.
- Procrastination is my best friend.
- My professor is like Oprah Winfrey, she throws homeworks at us like itâs a car.
- College lectures would be so much fun with Game of Thrones references.
- Iâd rather be at Hogwarts.
- I want somebody to look at me the way my dog looks at food.
- My dog is mad at me because they could smell another dog on my clothes.
- Did you say pancakes?!My bed is a magical place. As soon as I jump into it, it reminds me of all the things I havenât yet completed.
- They say donât try this at home. So, I tried it at my friendâs home.
- Friday â My second favorite F word.
- For me being in math class is like watching a foreign language movie without any subtitles.
- When nothing goes right, just go left.
- This week I was pulled over by a cop. He said, âPapers.â I said, âScissors and I win.â Donât think the cop found it funny.
- Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it wonât let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
- My mom â Why is everything in your room on the floor? Me â âMom, donât you understand concept of gravity?
- I donât think inside the box. I donât think outside the box. What the duck â I donât even know what box everyone is talking about.
- Just one more cookie. Just one more minute. Just one more episode â Lies I tell myself.
- I got back with my Ex⊠X box 360.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- So youâre telling me I have a chance.
- Yesterday, I changed my WiFi password to âHackitifyoucanâ; today, someone changed it to âChallengeAcceptedâ.
- Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what itâs made of? Boyfriend material.
- For every action, I have a clever reserve caption.
- Friendship isnât about who youâve known the longest. Itâs about who walked into your life and said, I am here for you and proved it.
- Throughout, your life can find a person who never gets bore with your talks.
- Friendship isnât a big thing â itâs a million little things
- Friendship isnât about who you know the longest. Itâs about who walked into your life and said Iâm here for you.
- There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldnât jump puddles for you.
- Way to have a best friend is to be one.
- Thereâs something about childhood friends that you just canât replace
- Friends are medicine for a wounded heart.
- A big hug from a Small person!
- People say it is hard to find friends, just because best one is with me.
- No man is a failure who has friends
- I was thinking of you and feeling fortunate that life brought us together and made âBEST FRIENDSâ.
- Your vibe attracts your tribe.
- It is Priceless to find friends with same mental disorder.
- Strangers think Iâm quiet, my friends think Iâm outgoing, but my best friends know that Iâm completely insane.
- Itâs not how many friends you can count, itâs how many of those you can count on
- The great thing about new friends is that they bring new energy to your soul.#
- Hope to be your friend until we die, become best ghosts after death.
- Best friend? Nah. Sheâs my sister.
- Friends are like flowers, they add color to your life..!!
- âHow much do I weigh? One hundred and sexy!â
- âShameless self-promotion is an underappreciated art form. Letâs fix that.â
- âBrought to you by Spanx and self-confidence.â
- âIâve got it, Iâm flaunting it, and youâre liking it.â
- âIâm sexy and I know it. And now you do too.â
- âPosting this to make everyone else feel better about themselves. Youâre welcome.â
- âShowing myself at my worst so the next selfie I post, youâll all be astounded by my stunning transformation.â
- âIâm probably going to regret this (in 3âŠ2âŠ1âŠ).â
- âMy dog dared me.â
- âThe cat made me do it.â
- âWoke up like this. (Because I fell asleep in this outfit and makeup.)â
- âSome people grow up, I glow up.â
- âOh no, my toddler got my phone, took this perfectly posed (but candid!) picture of me and accidentally posted this, Iâm so embarrassed! But really the kidâs kind of a genius, right?â
- âThis girl is on fire! (Seriously, my quads are burning)â
- âWelcome to the gun show! (So what if mine are of the âconceal and carryâ type?)â
- âMeet you at the bar(bell)?â
- âI go to the gym because clearly my amazing personality deserves a body to go with it.â
- âI donât sweat, I sparkle.â
- âI just finished squatsâand didnât toot once!â
- âMy lifeâs purpose is to be a cautionary tale for others.â
- âSend in the rescue dogs (preferably the ones with kegs around their necks).â
- âWhy did no one warn me [eating ice cream/walking the dog/taking a picture with a baby] was so dangerous?â
- âIt seemed like a good idea at the time. I have terrible judgment.â
- âDeploy the secret cuteness weaponâkids!â
- âI totally knew that creepy guy was behind me. Sure I did.â
- âHe said he was Lady Gaga.â
- âIâd hate to get to the end of my life and think âI could have eaten that!â #noregretsâ
- âHow do I like my eggs? In cake.â
- âI have hunger management issues.â
- âWhen the waiter asked what Iâd like, I handed the menu back and said âyes, please!â
- âIâm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a cupcake.â
- âWTF (whereâs the food)?â
- âWhy cake? Itâs somebodyâs birthday somewhere!â
- âJet lag is for amateurs.â
- âThis is my road to recovery.â
- âThe only trip you will regret is the one you donât take. (Okay, and that trip where you ate the sketchy seafood and couldnât figure out how to flush the toilets in Morocco.)â
- âIf you think adventure is dangerous, try routineâitâs lethal. âPaulo Coelhoâ
- âHave you posed by a naked statue today? No, your garden gnome doesnât count (he has a hat).â
- âWe broke up for religious reasonsâhe believed he was God and I didnât.â
- âItâs complicatedâour drink order, that is. The relationship is great!â
- âDoes this ring make me look engaged?â
- âAnother one bites the dust.â
- âHe, me, and baby make three!â
- âI got a haircut! It went so well I went ahead and had all my hairs cut!â
- âI call this the âHey, at least I tried.ââ
- âAt least itâs not a clip-on man bun.â
- âPinterest made me do it.â
- âThe best things in life either make you fat, drunk, or pregnant. I might have accomplished all three.â
- âEveryone say. CheeeeeeseâŠ.sticks!â
- âWhat tattoo should I get?â
- âWhen people tell me, âYouâre gonna regret that in the morning,â I just sleep until noon. Iâm a problem solver.â
- âDrunk people, children, and leggings: They donât lie. Neither does this picture.â
- âHow do I get out of this glass prison? Wonât someone help me? Please?!â
- âNo mom, Iâm not serious. Please donât call.â
- âHey donât be sad! Because sad backwards is dasâand das not good!â
- âTil death do us party.
- Itâs been an emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers.
- Not the royal wedding, but itâll do.
- Today, you will get married, and I will eat cake. Itâs a win-win for sure.
- These two make such a gouda couple. Now, point me in the direction of the charcuterie plate.
- Congrats on making it o-fish-ial. Now, there are two less fish in the sea.
- Thank you for sharing your big day with me, and a special thank you to the cake youâre serving.
- The best kind of wedding is one that leaves your bellies (and hearts) full.
- Their love is unbeleafable.
- The party doesnât start till we walk in.
- These two weirdos are perfect for each other.
- A party without a cake is just a meeting.
- Itâs been an emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers.
- I canât wait to ugly cry at the next wedding.
- Marriage? It has a nice ring to it.
- Gross. She has to live with a boy now.
- A wedding isnât about a bride and groom. Itâs about the party.
- Theyâre going to make such a cute old couple.
- THERE ARE 16 YEAR OLDS COMPETING AT THE OLYMPICS AND I STILL PUSH ON PULL DOORSâŠ
- HUMBLE, WITH JUST A HINT OF KANYE.
- Iâd give a f*ck but I already gave it to your mother last night when youâre downie eat a brownie.
- Braless is flawless.
- HOW I FEEL WHEN THERE IS NO COFFEE? DEPRESSO.
- THIS IS THE MONDAYEST MONDAY THAT EVER MONDAYED.
- DEJA POO: The feeling that youâve heard this crap before.
- wine + dinner = winners
- I JUST DONâT WANT TO LOOK BACK AND THINK âI COULDâVE EATEN THATâ
- I DONâT EVEN BELIEVE MYSELF WHEN I SAY IâLL BE READY IN 5 MINUTES.
- WiFi, food, my bed. Perfection.
- BORN TO SHOP. FORCED TO WORK.
- First I drink the coffee. Then I do the things.
- Me Everyday: Slay Me in December: Sleigh
- I might look like Iâm doing nothing, but in my head Iâm quite busy.
- Error 404: Feelings not found
- I SPEND A LOT OF TIME HOLDING THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPEN LOOKING FOR ANSWERS.
- EVERYTHING I LIKE IS EITHER EXPENSIVE, ILLEGAL OR WONâT TEXT ME BACK.
- JUST WING IT. LIFE, EYELINER, EVERYTHING.
- Long line at Starbucks, first world problems.
- START YOUR DAY WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
- IâM FINE, THANKS FOR NOT ASKING.
- I LOVE SARCASM.
- ITâS LIKE PUNCHING PEOPLE IN THE FACE, BUT WITH WORDS.
- Autocorrect can go straight to hell.
- APPRECIATE GOOD PEOPLE. THEY ARE HARD TO COME BY.
- I WISH COMMON SENSE WAS MORE COMMON
- WE WERE BORN TO BE REAL, NOT TO BE PERFECT.
- Be with those that bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
- ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING. NEW DAY, NEW STRENGTH, NEW THOUGHTS.
- I am so open-minded, my brains will fall out some day.
- I donât always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
- Say âBeer Canâ with a British accent. I just taught you to say âBaconâ with a Jamaican accent.
- In a relationship? Nah! I am in a flirtationship.
- In the event that you donât have anything decent to say, come sit by me, and we can ridicule individuals together
- I will go into survival mode if tickled
- Mermaids donât do homework
- Presumably the best meat eater on the planet
- All I need is some Vitamin Sea *insert wave emoji*
- Water you doing right now?
- Keep Palm and Carry On *insert palm tree emoji*
- A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. â James Dent
- Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better. â Unknown
- August is like the Sunday of summer. â Unknown
- A man says a lot of things in summer he doesnât mean in winter. â Patricia Briggs
- Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. â Kellie Elmore
- Summer bachelors like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. â Nora Ephron
- Iâm sorry for the things I said when it was winter. â Unknown
- If youâre not barefoot then youâre overdressed. â Unknown
- Girls just wanna have sun. â Unknown
- Summer is here. Iâm in the process of moving all my bad habits outdoors. â Unknown
- Summer should get a speeding ticket. â Unknown
- A little bit of a summer is what the whole year is all about. â John Mayer
- I could never in a hundred summers get tired of this. â Susan Branch
- Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. â Sam Keen
- When all else fails, take a vacation. â Betty Williams
- A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. â Robert Orben
- If summer had one defining scent, itâd definitely be the smell of barbecue. â Katie Lee
- To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. â Audrey Hepburn
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- How did I get back to my crib last night.
- we made it, itâs Friday!
- I read the twilight books.
- When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance.
- Friday, my second favorite F word.
- Women drivers rev my engine.
- I like coodies.
- Hey, I just met you, this is crazy.
- At least this balloon is attracted to me!
- I must destroy you with hugs and kisses.
- Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
- I woke up like this.
- Oh youâre a model? Whatâs your agency, Instagram?
- I will eat just one, I swear.
- I liked memes before they were on Instagram.
- if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?
- If we could only turn back timeâŠ
- Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and thereâs so much to smile about.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- Thank you for making me feel less alone.
- The only F word out a womanâs mouth that scares me is âfine.â
- Crossfit? I play real sports.
- A blind man walks into a bar⊠And a chair⊠and a table.
- At dawn, we ride.
- you are enough.
- This seat is taken.
- I wasnât lucky, I deserved it.
- I had fun once, it was horrible.
- survived another âend of the worldâ scenario.
- Girls be likeâŠ
- stop stop, Iâm gunna pee.
- Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
- Puts selfie on top of tree because Iâm the star.
- Is I in trouble?
- I donât have Exâs, I have Yâs. Like âWhy Did I ever date you?â
- It never rains during the weekend.
- Oh, hi there!
- Youâre doing it wrong.
- Smile đ
- Fresher than you.
- A little birthday party they said, itâll be fun they said.
- Donât be like the rest of them, darling.
- Girls be like, no makeup!
- Posted pic on Instagram, and she didnât like it.
- I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.
- We all start as strangers.
- I didnât choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
- I think itâs wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
- My only real long term goal is to never end up on Maury.
- girl Ima have to call you back.
- Have a seat, we were expecting you.
- My diet plan: make all of my best friends cookies; the fatter they get, the thinner I look.
- If I die tomorrow, will you remember me
- What if the princess wants to be with Bowser but Mario keeps kidnapping her.
- Invite me to play Candy Crush one more time.
- How do I put this, youâll never sleep again.
- I love sleep because itâs like a time machine to breakfast.
- Teacher knows who my crush is, assigns my seat next to her.
- Iâm the strong silent typo.
- Syndrome of a down.
- Weekend, please donât leave me.
- Never cry for that person who doesnât know the value of your tears.
- Donât play dumb with me. Thatâs a game you canât win.
- I got back with my ExâŠBox 360.
- Volleyball is just a really intense version of âdonât let the ball touch the floorâ.
- Leave your lover.
- Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
- I hate flying lessons.
- A selfie a day keeps the friends away.
- OMG thatâs so cute.
- Iâd like to thank Red Bull, Google, Vodka, and Wikipedia for my graduation.
- Buy an iPhone they said, it comes with a map, they said.
- I love you this much.
- One does not simply âLet it goâ
- Boys are like purses, cute, full of crap, and can always be replaced.
- Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it wonât let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
- Can I film you while you sleep? Youâre so cute.
- Hating me doesnât make you pretty.
- Friends with a gang of geeks.
- Guess what I just did.
- Need an ark? I Noah guy.
- On my way to school đ
- Youâre cute, can I have you?
- I donât always drink beer, but when I do, call me Beercules.
- Friends marathon on Netflix, YES!
- Dear vegetarians, if youâre trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?
- That moment when you realize it wasnât a fart.
- Some days start better than others.
- Live the live you want to, not the one youâre supposed to.
- Life is short, false, itâs the longes thing you do.
- Broke his heart, then I asked if he was ok?
- Truth is, Iâm crazy for you. And everyone can see that but you.
- Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
- Make milkshakes they said, the boys will come to your yard they said.
- Meanwhile at Walmart.
- Changed all my passwords to incorrect, then every time I forget my password, it says âyour password is incorrectâ.
- Darwin award goes toâŠ
- So youâre telling me I have a chance.
- They see me rollin, they hatin.
- Hey girl, I like the way we finish each others, sandwiches.
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- Heart boys who make funny faces when they see you for the first time.
- I know, Iâm lucky that Iâm so cute.
- Oh pizza, you understand me so well.
- My chocolate chip cookie, is rasin đ
- Whoâs awesome? You are!
- Impossibru!
- Worldâs most annoying couple.
- Trying to forget it but the memories are too strong.
- Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what itâs made of? Boyfriend material.
- A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. A dumb person creates it.
- That moment when you realize your childhood is over.
- I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves.
- Walking past a class with your friends in it.
- So, you come here often?
- You only drink diet soda? You must be so healthy.
- Whoâs that cute person? Oh, I clicked on my profile again.
- Donât worry if you havenât found your true love, theyâre just with someone else right now.
- Collect moments, not things.
- Boys be likeâŠ
- This just gave me another reason why I love this person.
- You play Call of Duty? Thatâs cute.
- A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
- He went to jared.
- Your Kik status says Kik Login Online, if youâre online then why arenât you texting me.
- Help me please, Iâm bored.
- Deal with it.
- Not all girls are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice. Some are made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
- You think this is a game?
- I just want to cuddle, thatâs all I want.
- I am an Instagram Caption!
- Best selifie ever.
- You guys are just so darn cute.
- When the bus driver starts driving before you even get to your seat.
- When the parents hate it, the kids lvoe it.
- If you look in the mirror when your eyes are shut, itâs like watching yourself when youâre asleep.
- Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.
- Omg. Look at me. Instagram selfie.
- Being single is smarter than being in the wrong relationship.
- They used to shout my name, now they whisper it.
- Everytime my phone goes off, I hope itâs you.
- I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
- Frankly my dear, I donât Instagram.
- Iâm not saying it was aliens, but it was Aliens!
- You lost your phone and itâs on silent? Too bad, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.
- Smash, now what will I Instagram?
- Says he wants to whisper something in your ear, screams!
- You go to school, nothing happens. You miss one day, Beyonce shows up unannounced.
- Dude, all my friends have birthdays this year.
- I canât go on, will you carry me.
- Iâm in love with you, and all your little things.
- Yea, dating is cool but have you every had stuffed crust pizza?
- I act like Iâm ok, but Iâm really not.
- Started from the bottom now weâre here.
- Like a boss.
- I donât always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows.
- You said everyone would be here.
- You keep using that word, I donât think it means what you think it means.
- Iâm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
- Turn the pain into power.
- Stay strong, the weekend is coming.
- How a woman tells society she is single.
- Work until your idols become your rivals.
- How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wifeâs clothes
- I thought this was America.
- Instagram is down, just describe your lunch to me.
- Iâll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT.
- I donât always make sense, but when I do, I donât.
- You gunna eat that?
- Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
- Good morning beautiful! I hope I didnât wake you and Iâm sorry if I did but I just want to tell you that youâre an amazing and beautiful person and I hope you have a great day!
- Hey girl, get back to work.
- You should smell my breath.
- When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting âlikeâ at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.
- So, youâre on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
- Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
- I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
- The moment when she says youâre cute.
- Lives change like the weather. I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new.
- I donât always study, but when I do, I donât.
- Say âBeer Canâ with a british accent. I just taught you to say âBaconâ with a Jamaican accent.
- Girls be like, caught off guard but still cute.
- Free hot dogs and chili, you always pay for them later.
- Meanwhile in Russia.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people donât realize that.
- She just left, I miss her already.
- Cute girl walking in front of you. Decrease speed until walking in front of you.
- Nothing says ârainy dayâ like 50 Shades of Grey!
- Never cry for anyone that doesnât value your tears.
- Until I saw this, I didnât know how badly I needed a smile.
- Donât let anyone tell you that youâre not strong enough. Funny enough. Smart enough.
- I think youâre lacking âVitamin Me.â
- Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, youâll land among the stars.
- Yesterday, I changed my password to âHackItIfYouCan.â Today, someone changed it to âChallengeAccepted.â
- Thereâs a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
- Still looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
- I try not to work too many Sunday. At least, not Sunday nights. I like to call them Sunday Fundays.
- Posting lyrics on your status, hoping at least one person will read them and take the hint.
- Single, taken, in a relationship. These are all just terms. Your status is measured by your actions.
- You donât have to like me. Iâm not a Facebook status.
- Lives change like the weather. I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new.
- The biggest challenge in life is being yourselfâŠin a world trying to make you like everyone else.
- What others think of me is none of my business!
- Get over your selfie, darling!
- My favorite music is your voice. The lyrics always speak right to my heart.
- Life is like a balloon. If you donât let go, youâll never know how high you can rise.
- âFridayâ is my second-favorite F-word!
- I smile because I have no idea whatâs going on.
- Three mistake did by everyone. Instagram, Facebook, and GF!
- Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
- Iâm a smart person, I just do stupid things.
- Alcohol will give different, type of superhuman power!
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
- Dear God, there is a bug in your week Software. itâs called Monday, please fix it.
- I put my phone in airplane mode, but itâs not flying!
- A blind man walks into a bar. And a chair. And a table.
- I think you are lacking Vitamin me!
- Iâm jealous of my parents, Iâll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
- Iâll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT.
- Instagram should have an âEnemy Listâ.
- Iâm actually not funny, I am just mean and people think Iâm funny!
- You have to love yourself, first, before anyone else can love you.
- Iâm different, f*ck your opinion.
- Aye, Iâm just feeling my vibes right now, Iâm feeling myself.
- Iâm not saying it was aliens, but it was Aliens!
- Remember: everyone else is just as unique as you.
- Iâm not weird, Iâm a limited edition.
- Weâre each responsible for the beauty we carry with us, ever day.
- Iâm usually charming, nice, and well mannered, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
Guys
Some of the funniest punchlines on Earth is made by men who just throw the nonsense jokes in the air without thinking about it . Take a look at some of menâs funniest remarks and use it for your funny Instagram captions instead.
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate. but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
- I know the voices in my head arenât real. But sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
- I liked memes before they were on Instagram
- I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
- You know, I like hashtags because they look like waffles.
- I Live And I Learn But I Wait My Turn. Iâm Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn.
- I look at people sometimes and think. Really?? Thatâs the sperm that won.
- Iâm a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you
- I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
Lyrical
- Iâm here for a good time not a long time.
- I canât really see another squad tryna cross us.
- Iâm up right now and you suck right now.
- No new friends.
- Where you movinâ? I said onto better things.
- Know yourself, know your worth.
- Make the most out of tonight, and worry âbout it all tomorrow.
- Iâm way up, I feel blessed.
- I cannot see heaven being much better than this.
- Live for today, plan for tomorrow, party tonight.
- Iâmma sip it âtil i feel it, Iâmma smoke it âtil itâs done.
- I still ride with my day one.
- My excuse is that Iâm young.
- I live for the nights that I canât remember with the people that I wonât forget.
- Imma worry âbout me, give a f**k about you.
- Nobody really likes us except for us.
- They ainât make me what I am, they just found me like this.
- You only live once!
- Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments.
- Started from the bottom, now weâre here.
- Last name ever, first name greatest!
- Whole squad on that real sh*t.
- On my worst behavior.
- Worrying about your followers, you need to get yo ur dollars up.
- Started not to give a f**k and stopped fearing the consequence.
- Never not chasing a million things I want.
Romantic
- There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.
- No matter where I went, I always knew my way back to you. You are my compass star.
- Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
- We accept the love we think we deserve.
- A beautiful woman delights the eye; a wise woman, the understanding; a pure one, the soul.
- Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.
- Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
- True love stories never have endings.
- We love the things we love for what they are.
- All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
- Love planted a rose, and the world turned sweet.
- If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.
- What is love? It is the morning and the evening star.
- Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
- Love is like the wind, you canât see it but you can feel it.
- If I had a flower for every time I thought of youâŠI could walk through my garden forever.
- You know youâre in love when you canât fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
- Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
Sarcastic
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
- If had a dollar for every smart thing you say, Iâd be poor.
- I feel so miserable without you, itâs almost like having you here.
- I have two speeds. If you donât like this one, youâre definitely not going to like the other one.
- I love sarcasm. Itâs like punching people in the face but with words.
- Just because I donât care doesnât mean I donât understand.
- Young people think that money is everything. Old people know that this is correct.
- I canât come to work today. I have to stare at the ceiling and question every decision Iâve ever made.
- Always remember that youâre unique. Just like everyone else.
- If at first you donât succeed, maybe skydiving isnât your sport.
- If you think nobody cares if youâre alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- Thinking Iâm a moron gives people something to feel smug about. Why should I disillusion them?
- My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
- I donât take orders. I barely take suggestions.
- People who act like they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.
- Iâm not always a smartass. Sometimes Iâm asleep.
Selfie
- God is really creative, I mean just look at me.
- Who cares, Iâm awesome.
- Eat, sleep, click, repeat.
- Iâm different, f*ck your opinion.
- Oh, darling! Go buy a personality.
- Remember when you were better than me ?.. Ans: ya neither do I.
- Look dope chic, spice and so nice.
- I`m jealous of my parents, Iâll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
- I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- Look behind you see any eager faces, waiting for your next post? I thought not.
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- I smile because I have no idea whatâs going on.
- They call it a âselfieâ because ânarcissisticâ is too hard to spell.
- I am not fat, I am just⊠easier to see.
- Born free, taxed to death.
- I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
- Friday is my second favorite F word.
- I Live And I Learn But I Wait My Turn. Iâm Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn.
- There may be no excuse for laziness, but Iâm still looking.
- So we meet again..
- If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes.
- Aye Iâm just feeling my vibes right now, Iâm feeling myself.
- Warning â You might fall in love with me.
- I know Iâm lucky that Iâm so cute.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- If being Hot is a Crime ARREST ME!
- Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. Iâll tell you more.
- Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately, both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
- I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
- Nothing is illegal until you get caught
- Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean. But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
- If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
- Iâm not weird, Iâm a limited edition.
- Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, Iâm a 15
- Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude?
- âMy favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch ⊠I call it lunch.â
- âI walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.â
- I am not weird. I am limited edition.
- Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you.
- Life status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin âŠ
- Be as picky with your men as you are with your selfies.
- If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, maybe it really is a duck. Either accept it for what it is or let it go.
- My demons hide in my loudness. So if you donât want the evil to come out, donât shut me down in a very sarcastic manner.
- You know that feeling when the really cute girl walks by in the mall, and you smile, try to be smooth, and take a drink of tea, and run the straw up your nose?
- Who washed and waxed their truck in this lovely 32-degree weather? Yes, thatâs right! Me!
- You cannot control whom your heart falls in love with, but itâs funny because you can decide whom to date.
- Do I really look like a guy who spent the past hour trying to get the right lighting for this selfie? Of course not!
- I hate captions that donât belong to my selfie.
- For every action, I have a clever reserve caption.
- Why you donât consider my clever attitude in my serious photos.
- You are a serious rock star, but you need much more efforts to start my rock.
- If you ever ignore my attitude, I will not pick up your luggage again.
- Girls like my smiley face because I clean my teeth thrice a day.
- Dogs and cats are not allowed in my private pictures.
- I love Instagram because it allows me to maintain a record of my every meal.
- You can tell how much someone likes you by the number of times they show up in your selfies.
- Eat right, stay fit, and die anyway.
- Eat, sleep, click, and repeat.
- ETC meaning âEnd of Thinking Capacityâ.
- Every tall girl needs a short best friend.
- Finding friends with the same mental disorder is priceless.
- For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
- Forget love, Iâd rather fall in chocolate.
- Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
- Friends knock on the door; best friends walk into your house and start eating.
- Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
Words of Wisdom
- âI want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.â
- âAn apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.â
- âI tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life!â
- Never let a man treat you anything less than Beyonce.
- Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Summary: Cool Instagram Quotes
You are still here?
By now we hope you have found one of your funny Instagram captions to put under your photo.Thereâs so many quotes in the world. We try to keep this article up to date, adding always more and more quotations we find.
Here you find even more detailed collections:
- cool Instagram captions
- true friendship quotes
- funny quotes about friends
- captions for couples about love
Happy Instagramming!
The Instagram Circus
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